How to Choose Your Wedding Party
I know for Joe and me, this was a bit of a task. We knew we wanted to keep our wedding small, and that part didn’t change, however, the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen evolved and changed quite a few times in the first few weeks after we got engaged. We started with two, then we really felt that we couldn’t get married without our third and I didn’t like odd numbers so we added family in to even things out at four on each side. How does this help you? Okay, it doesn’t but read on for some helpful tips on choosing your wedding party.
Tips for choosing your wedding party:
Who do you want to spend nearly your entire wedding day with by your side? Let’s face it, your bridesmaids/groomsmen will be with you from getting ready until the reception. There are probably a few friends or family that you just cannot fathom not standing by your side for the big day.
Does the person you are considering have your best wishes in mind? No bride needs the stress of a bridesmaid that makes the entire wedding day seem like it is about her. Sorry, not today. This is your wedding, not your bridesmaid’s wedding. It may not be the best idea to choose someone for your party if you can see this happening. You need support and help on your wedding day, you want it to be the best day of your life. No drama, no stress. I’m just keeping it real with y’all speaking from personal experience with this one.
Are they reliable? Are they going to show up for you when you need them? Help with the planning? Help with anything you need? Those are the traits that you should be looking for in your wedding party members.
While it is important to include siblings, there are some circumstances in which siblings should be considered a no go as far as asking them to be in your wedding party. Think long and hard about your decision if that sentence struck a nerve. You never want to feel obligated to ask someone to stand up in your wedding. More often than not it ends in unnecessary stress and drama not only on the wedding day but even during the wedding planning process. There is a reason you feel this way, trust your instincts.
Keep in mind that we are lucky enough to be living in the 21st century, this means while there are rules, technically there are no rules on your wedding day. You get to decide. So brides feel free to have a man of honor or a bridesman and grooms feel free to have a best woman or a groomsmaid! Pick your favorite people, don’t worry about gender. That was so the 19th century anyway. ;) Groomswomen can be dressed in tuxes or in dresses as can bridesmen. You do you.
I can’t say this enough, you do NOT have to choose someone just because they chose you. This is between you and your fiance and just because they chose you for their wedding party doesn’t mean you have to return the favor.
Flower girls, miniature brides, and ringbearers are not required. If you have been thinking about that perfect niece for your flower girl since the day she was born, by all means, ask her to be your flower girl. But I want to remind you that you are not obligated here either to have a flower girl, miniature bride or ringbearer just because of “tradition.”
I always say less is more when it comes to the wedding party. Think over your decisions and talk it over with your fiance. Address any concerns before you ask your party to stand up. Once you ask there is no going back. The average wedding party consists of four on each side. That doesn’t mean you need to have four people on your side some have none or one and some quite a bit more. The most we’ve personally ever photographed was 17 on each side and crazy enough it went quite smoothly. We have had other larger wedding parties that it wasn’t quite as easy as it sounds which can be quite stressful for the bride and groom when their wedding party members are not behaving in favorable manors.
